Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Air Freshener Defect

Well, maybe not a defect, but definitely a phenomenon with me. 

I understand completely the idea that after a while we stop smelling scents as strongly as we did originally, so although we may have an air freshener in our house that is still working at 100% we don't notice it anymore.  Likewise, we don't notice our own perfumes after a little while, and so forth.

I have that problem, too, but that's not what I'm talking about here.

See, I tend to think all air fresheners smell like whatever the scent is we are trying to mask (most often, stinky diapers or a stinky bathroom).  No matter what Febreze or AirWick or Glade or Lysol or whatever else brand I find, I can smell the Tahitian Rose or Clean Cotton or Hawaiian Beach or Rainy Mist in the store and think, "Yes!  This!  This is the one that will forever smell this good to me!"  And we get home, I spray it once, and it stops smelling good.

Now, don't get me wrong:  I am not saying that they don't mask whatever stink.  Really, now, whatever stink it is, it's not that overwhelming, and I'm offended you'd think so about me and my housekeeping!  No, it's just that I will smell that our latest-and-greatest air freshener has been sprayed, and my brain somewhere equates the air freshener to the poopy diaper, and the air freshener literally smells like diaper to me.   And it's not that my brain has associated the two, as if to say, "Febreze Tahitian Fruit is only to hide Poopy Diaper, so sniff extra hard for the poopy diaper."  Not at all.  Febreze Tahitian Fruit smells to me like poop.  Really.  You could spray it in the middle of the grocery store, and I'd think someone tooted.  Canned, sprayable Febreze Fart.  It's awful. 

Just this morning, Mick sprayed the master bathroom (not the "water closet" part, just the main bathroom, which is as big as the bedroom I grew up in) with our latest Febreze.  And as it wafted over to where I was snuggled under 99 covers in bed, all I could think was, "where is that diaper?!"

Just about The only thing that works for me are Yankee Candles.  I have NO IDEA why that is, but it's true.  The only scents that retain their "scent, not stink" to me are Yankee Candles, and it doesn't matter what flavor; they stay true. 

I know this is weird.  And it drives me crazy, because (a) we waste a ton of money on air fresheners that only end up smelling like diapers to me, and (b) we can't exactly burn candles in every room.


Weirdo ticker just got another notch.


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