Or so they say. Consider it a lie, friends, an outright lie.
At the time, I about hyperventilated with all they wanted me to do, but then I got hired and things seemed to fall into place and all the crazy state requirements went unmentioned.
Today, I got in the mail a "we deny your teaching certificate application" letter. Once again, I hyperventilated.
This time, Maine wants me to:
1. Take every possible Praxis exam related to math, including the "pre-professional" exam.
2. Take 9 graduate credit hours of math.
3. Take 6 graduate credit hours of "methods," including 3 hours of special education methods and 3 hours of math teaching.
4. Complete a student teaching assignment.
Now, rational me knows that I can't do a darned thing about this on a Saturday night, and I can't even do anything about it until Tuesday, since Monday's a holiday. I should write an appeals letter, call it a night, and not worry about it.
Regular me, though, is having fits. I've already run through the anger/fury/fear/belligerence cycle. Now I'm just sick over it. What will it mean? Will I take a pay cut? (HAH! As if it were possible to earn less money!) Will the school system, acting in accord with some nonsense from the state, say I owe them money for "overpayments" I've received thus far? Will I have to jump through bullsh-- hoops for a "provisional" certificate while I "work on" these requirements?
Let's say I actually have to do these things. First of all, I won't. But second, they're essentially requiring me to go back to school for a semester. FOR STUFF I ALREADY DID.
I'm sick to my stomach. It's a mix of nerves and fury. And Alabama football's on in the background and they are stinking it up big-time right now, and that's not helping me, not one little bit.
In any event, I need a job.
I'm a member of the bar in Alabama ...
p.s. the irony of it all is that I actually am enjoying teaching this year, and regularly find myself thinking about things I plan to do in Year 2...