Thursday, July 11, 2013

Help! We Need an Ark!

June was the 7th rainiest month in Maine since they've been keeping records.  That's 144 years.

Did you really think I'd give a factoid without something to back me up?      visited July 11, 2013

July promises to be just as bad:  since the start of the month, we've had precisely three days where the sun shined on us -- July 3, 4, and 5.

Now, as days for sunshine in the summer go, those are pretty good ones and we're quite lucky we had a downright glorious Fourth of July holiday.  But still: this whole cooped-up-in-the-rain thing is getting very old.  Everyone is going stir crazy.

It's compounded by the fact that every time I try to do something with the kids, I know it's half being a good Mommy, and half motivated by the fact that I would do just about anything to not sit and study for the bar exam.  The result, of course, is that I am doing a completely lousy job at both tasks.  (Take right now, for example:  I'm procrastinating on Blogger, and the kids are sitting in CAM's room watching Netflix on the iPad.  See what I mean?!)

Every night before I go to bed, this is the image I have of how my day will go tomorrow.  I will get up early (8ish).  I will study like a champ.  I will play with the kids.  Instead, I'm usually lucky to remember when it's lunch time, and lately, there's been neither good playing nor good studying.
I will be crying in pain and agony and fear and panic the last few days of July when I am woefully unprepared, wishing I'd toughed it out just a little harder, and a little longer, earlier in the month.  I know that, I really do ... and I will be mortified, if not surprised, when I get my results in September and they say, "well, Jennifer, looks like you get to try again."

But right now ... oh, my word, I am on the struggle bus!

This morning (well, "morning" to us, which really meant around 12:30 -- last night was a sleepless night in these parts and thankfully, we were all able to sleep in a bit) Mick and WHM went to Mick's doctor, and CAM and I went to the library.  Ostensibly, I was going to study and she was going to sit with me and do some of her summer work.  But that lasted only about 25 minutes and then she had a "headache."  After I let her pick some books and either read to herself or let me read to her, I broke down and let her play on the iPad with earbuds.

I was AMAZINGLY productive -- for about an hour before my two-hour parking limit expired and we had to move the car, which really ended up meaning leaving.

So, now I've been home almost an hour and have read precisely three pages in my commercial paper outline... which was on my schedule for Tuesday.  (If you're not reading this in real time, and really, why would you, today's Thursday.)

I'm heading back to the library tomorrow, kidless, and hoping to knock out some serious reading/note-taking.  My plan was "all" the reading and notes this week, "all" the essay practice next week, and all the "oh $%^$#^!! I didn't do nearly enough the past two weeks" panicking that last week before the exam.

We shall see.  I'm pretty confident the last week's schedule will be on track, anyway.

In the meantime, I really wish the darn sun would shine.  I'd feel so much better if the kids were at least playing in the yard.



  1. Thinking of you & hope you get to hop off the struggle bus soon!

    1. Thanks! July 31. Or really, July 30 somewhere around 6 EST. I'm presently debating whether I want a hotel room in Portland the night before bar exam, or the night of. Tough call. The mile-long to-do-after-the-bar-exam list is a thought for another day.